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Monday, August 17, 2009

A Jab at Work Review/RE: "Four Lies [...]" by blogger: Single Edition

In the afore-linked article by blogger Single Edition, entitled, "4 Lies That Can Cost You Your Job", which was posted on Yahoo Shine Tuesday, August 04, 2009 the author (let's call her S.E., for simplicity) advises readers to clean up their acts a bit, when shoveling b.s. in the direction of employers. Ok. In short, I agree with S.E.'s sentiments.

But for interests sake... let's evaluate some of the more salient points. In the first scenario, we are introduced to Mark N. who loses his job for moonlighting, presumably in the same field as his day job. For those of you who missed the inference from the article... Mark was fired because what he did created a conflict of interest. His day-time employer must assume that Mark may have steered the client away from let’s call it xyz co., in order to get the proceeds of the business from xyz co. Essentially, keeping Mark would amount to paying the competition, educating him, making him privy to private company files/secrets/client lists, and giving him access to expensive & useful resources that he otherwise may not be able to acquire or utilize. I agree with S.E. on this one... that was what my mother would call a "No/No" Mark. Well, live & learn.

In the next example, Lisa is identified as a manager, who can spot new-manicure-sporting fibbers who claimed they had been sick, but must have been out taking a spa day. ... ... Hmm... Ok. I admit that I was a little annoyed by this scenario, for at least 2 reasons: 1) It bugs me to think that there are really people out there who do this sort of thing! I mean I know a few high-maintenance people... but none of them ever ditched work to go to the salon. Okay, I realize that I don't know everyone, and I guess that it is possible, maybe even probable; but this example still bugged me; and 2) The boss who fires a person who dons fresh grooming after returning from a sick day is assuming a lot. What if the employee's sister visited, brought her chicken noodle soup; chamomile tea; an ancient Chinese elixir; an exorcist; and a rigged eight ball? Then, after all of these methods brought the sickly girl nearly to the brink of good health ... her sister pulls out the final stop... ye old ... make-over! She gives her sickly sister some shampoo, to wash the sick smell out of her hair; a nice body bar to erase the stench of flu-sweat; and finally, the piece de resistance: the get back out there & get off of your (self-pitying, fever & nasty germ-infested-body supporting) feet, emotional confidence builder: the wondrous hairdo/manicure combo! Cured, & revived, the employee decides to come back in to work earlier than expected in order to demonstrate what a rockstar trouper, and truly dedicated professional team-player she is. Upon arrival her boss smiles, checks out the bouffant, & chiclet finger tips & promptly points her toward the exit. I LOVE IT! Just kidding... I think that my scenario is about as implausible as the one that triggered it. Still, you show me a woman who fires another woman for coming in w/her nails done, and I'll show you a set of incredulously rolling eyes. I'm not buying it. But what do I know?

Now to the nitty gritty... Lie #1 from the article: I'll get to the point quickly this time... I didn't like the, "be smart about it" or, the "schedule your healthy sick days on less conspicuous days" bit of advice. Just hit 'em with it Single Edition: (S.E). It's ok to inform people who don't know better, "DON'T PULL THIS CRAP!!!" That's my advice. There is no such thing as a healthy sick day! There are a lot of unemployed bloggers out here who would be happy to take your jobs!

Now, as if I don't go off on tangents all the time anyway, I must veer off of the track here for a moment to address perhaps my biggest pet peeve. Ready? Ok. If you ARE sick, please don't play the hero. Check your ambition on the inside of your own door; don't go out; do not collect $100; go straight to bed! Ugh... snifflers, viscous substance on the back of the hand wiping, coughers, throat clearers, and saliva broadcasters deserve the best at home care that money can afford. I would be willing to let all cold-carrying members of the sick party get an extra few days off just to make sure that they don't come in & make everyone else sick!

Although, admittedly, as an unemployed germaphobe, I am much more concerned about the lady next door, who occasionally stays home wheezing out a tuburculine-sounding (I sure hope it's not swine flu.) near-death rattle.

But enough of that; let's get back to business. S.E.'s right on target about the, "faux emergency etc." What would you do if you had a real emergency? I think we all learned this lesson back in kindergarten: no crying wolf.

RE, S.E.'s, "Pointing the finger point", she's right. Let's just give that the old Check mark (Sorry, if I had a little check-mark icon I would have used it there... but I don't).

However, S.E's advice, "You may hit your targets by rounding up to the nearest hour" gives me goose bumps. Should they do this? Really? I'm gonna put this in the, if it's allowed then it's allowed but I seriously doubt that it's allowed or that it is ethical column.

Enough said. I've "ego-tripped" on your time-line (for getting truly important things done) far too long now. Time for you to either make a comment, a donation, or a trip to Argo Tea. Don't have one of those? How bought a Jamba Juice; Boca Java (you can get there from this blog), or Smoothie King (Oh yeah... I think it went out of business.) Well, wherever. But if you go to Caribou make sure to get me something. (No; I'm not kidding. Seriously, I'm not kidding... O.k., I guess I'm kidding.)

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A Jab At Work Poetry (Poetry about Work)

“Work” by AJA-B, 08/30/09

The life I live is full of Joy,
But fool of sadness have I been,
If rumblings uttered prove us coy,
Then, truth be told both where, and when,
Was once a pair that teetered then,
O’er brinks or hills,
That they could scarce,
Find liquid, bars of salt, but bills,
And toil, though notice paid none dare’st,
To sweat, and pack, and tape, and wrap,
To call, and quest, rebuffed for cost,
To drive five states, and back, for gas
Traverse, from here to there to drink,
While aching back, and sweat-soaked shirt,
Proved naught the laborers’ worth, but stink,
And why should hecklers, wreckers blurt,
And hurl insults until they hurt,
While hypocrites sit conditioned in,
Till out a pair sent all they’d earned,
To others seeking extra, win,
‘gainst those that taught themselves, and learned,
Volumes, nearly choked and burned,
As plumes of hate, and stacks of smoke,
Sparked flames, which brinksmanship, did stoke,
Hellacious fires that GOD awoke,
& Smote the devils’ flames whose’ fire,
Could not the heights of clouds aspire,
& Up the pair in now a shell,
found seeds to plant that vines did swell,
Fat, filling, fruit and tasty cheer,
Revealing teeth, “from ear to ear,”
Now brimming, happily forgiving, hope,
Refilling cranial stores to find,
Surviving, counts for little more than sustaining life, and wasting time.

Digressing now though more is there,
I advise you work, but ne’er care,
Hard work, and success are not the same,
But without the first you’ll reap the blame,
For being weak, and seeming lame,
To end I wish you all the best,
Catharsis exhausts, I needs must rest,
Good luck, “You’re hired” I hope you’ll find,
To ease your cares, and soothe your mind.

© 2009 AJA-B

A Jab at Work Survey

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